


Quarantined

by MasterOfTheMoon (Darkshardthedestroyer)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Avengers Family, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Good Loki (Marvel), Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-12 23:03:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14737466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkshardthedestroyer/pseuds/MasterOfTheMoon
Summary: Quarantine stinks, but its even worse when your stuck in a room with people you don't get along with....Just ask the Avengers.





	1. 1

The mission was quite simple; the Avengers would go into the other dimension, subdue the threat, and return home. 

They had been gone a little over twenty four hours, and Fury had begun pacing in his office, irritation level shooting from five to ten in under five minutes. 

The general rule of thumb was that an unhappy Fury was an unhappy Coulson, and an unhappy Coulson meant unhappy SHIELD Agents...  And loads of paper work...  That too. 

Fury began rubbing his eyes tiredly, a dark circle highlighting his chocolate brown eye.  It had at some point occurred to him that there was probably another one hidden beneath his jet black eyepatch, but he had no inclination to lift it and check. 

He let the cool water from the sink trickle through his fingers before cupping his hands and allowing it to pool. 

Finally he splashed it on his face, slightly mindful his eyepatch, but not really caring if the fabric was dampened.

There was a knock on the bathroom door, and he scowled, steely disposition replacing the exhaustion that had seeped into his bones. 

He meticulously straitened his jacket, making sure no button was out of place and no dust was present on the dark overcoat before he pulled the door open, ready to snap at whoever had disturbed him. 

Coulson stood waiting, I-pad in hand eyes quickly scanning its colorful readouts, excited anticipation radiating off his professional face. 

The tension in Fury's shoulders dissipated slightly, the director clasping his hands behind his back and clearing his throat. 

Coulson's head snapped up in susrprise and he spoke with a professional air, not at all as if his boss had literally just emerged from the bathroom. 

"Sir, there's an energy disturbance in ready room six; I think its the Avengers." Coulson announced, fingers shifting across the back of the clipboard in barely reigned in excitement. 

Not voicing his relief, Fury nodded, brushing past Coulson and striding towards his office door. 

-BREAK-

The swirling green vortex started small, barely the size of a quarter, growing rapidly as the green expanded and swirled inwards like a funnel. 

Moments later, very tired and dirty Avengers were deposited into the ready room. A bare room with one table and a quarantine door. 

Fury had asked them to specifically arrive in that room, due to said quarantine doors. 

Natasha, Clint, and Bruce were the first through, followed by Steve and Tony. The last ones to exit the spinning portal were the two Asgardians, Thor and Loki. 

The director noticed that it was Loki who looked the most haggard of the group, and Fury assumed it was due to magic depletion. 

"We're baaack." Tony shouted, breaking Fury out of his train of thought as the inventor's scuffed metal suit pulled away from his body and turned into a small brief case on the floor. 

Tony glanced down at it with disdain, nudging the case with his singed boot. 

"I hadn't noticed." Fury deadpanned through the speaker in the ceiling. The director had moved to an observation room with tons of high-quality monitors. 

Exhaustion was weighing heavily on the group, and their professional attitudes had flown out the window. "Okay, Fury, why'd you have us come here instead of the tower?" Steve asked, his usual chipperness replaced by irate exhaustion. 

"Because you all are emmiting irregular radiation patterns right now. We don't know if it's deadly to the human population, thus you all are to be quarantined for the next seventy-two hours for observation. We already have a room ready." Fury explained, an air of irritation edging into his voice. 

There was silence as everyone tried to process what Fury had just said. 

Finally it was Clint who moaned ", Joy." dragging a hand down his dusty face and wiping them on his muddied britches. 

The last thing any of them wanted was quarantine; what they really craved was a warm shower and their nice comfy beds. 

They attempted to explain this to Fury with a chorus of crest-fallen groans, which mingled together harmoniously through the sparsely populated room. 

Ignoring the protest,  Fury continued on, "The quarantine suits are on that table over there; get changed and our scientists will escort you. "

The room itself was a white-walled windowless room with a collapsable table hastily cobbled together in the middle of the room. The one door would open up into an air lock once they had their suits on. 

"No."

All the Avengers turned to face Loki, varying expressions of surprise flickering through their worn out faces. 

"Loki... " Fury sighed, not ready to get into a verbal sparring match with the god of mischief. The director knew that he was no match for the silvertongue. 

"No, I said no. I will not be locked in a room for three days." Loki reiterated, his face paling slightly as his nervous green eyes darted to the one bubble-like camera mounted in the far corner of the room. 

Five people total were privy to what happened to Loki in the void after his fall from the bi-frost. Loki himself; Frigga whom he had confided in, Odin who had used Heimdall to evesdrop, Thor who was with Odin at the time, and Fury who had been told by Odin and Loki.

Shortly after the invasion of New York had been thwarted, it was revealed that Loki himself was a puppet, also under the influence of mind control. Proof was presented, and he had been pardoned for his actions. 

Regardless, he and Thor had returned to Asgard with the tesseract, eventually returning to Midgard two weeks later with Odin. 

The Asgardian king had informed Fury that his youngest was being banished temporarily from Asgard to serve restitution for a crime committed just before Loki's fall into the void. 

Unlike Thor who had been stripped of his godly powers and reverted to a mere mortal, Loki had been allowed to retain his magic; but would serve a longer sentence of two years. 

Odin requested that Loki be allowed to join the Avengers, which Fury had promptly agreed, eager to add new members to the team, especially one so powerful. 

It was at this time that the director himself was told about what happened to the trickster in the void. Fury knew that one of the forms of torture used against the god of mischief was solitary confinement, often being subjected to it for weeks at a time. 

That's why Fury wasn't surprised by Loki's strong objection to quarantine procedures. 

"Loki, listen-"

"You forget, Fury, I'm no longer in your service. My two years have long passed, and I do NOT take orders from  _you._ "

Loki had stayed with the Avengers for his two years, and in the process, grown fond of not only them, but Midgard as a whole. While he did have the opportunity to at any time return to Asgard, he, like Thor, chose to remain on earth; he did however demote his status to honorary Avenger. 

Having attained a certain liking of the mortals, Loki often worked with them and even stayed at the tower from time to time, but primarily worked alone. 

"And I'm  _leaving._ " Loki growled, green wisps of magic dancing along his finger tips as he prepared himself to open another breach. 

"Alright, go ahead. But remember that you do it at the risk of injuring countless civilians with the radiation currently contaminating your cells."

Though he would _never_ admit it, Fury felt bad as soon as the words left his mouth. He knew it was a necessary low blow to give the man such an ultimatum. 

He was asking Loki to choose between possibly reliving some of the worst moments of his life, or hurting innocents, neither being high on the Trickster's to do list. 

Though he still glared at the camera, everyone noticed Loki's resolve slightly waver, the magic playing at his finger tips sparking out for but a moment. 

"You'd be with the other Avengers , of course, if that's any consolation." Fury added, through the speaker, trying to crumble Loki's resolve once and for all. 

Finally, Loki deflated, the tension pouring out of him as his shoulders sagged. Thor frowned, knowing just why Loki was struggling with this, but saying nothing. 

It was a puzzle to Natasha as to why Loki had given in at Fury stating that he would be with the Avengers. Sure they were all good friends, but Loki usually didn't need them as reassurance. 

She watched as without glancing back at the camera, Loki brushed past the Avengers and stalked over to the hazard suits, using magic slip it on, the only sign of submission Fury would be getting. 

-BREAK-

"Yo, Fury, we have a slight problem!" Clint called minutes later from the same room. 

While they dressed, Fury had been called aside by a SHIELD agent, and hadn't really been paying attention. 

Turning back to face the monitor, Fury let out a groan while a nearby Coulson let out a snort. 

The suits fit like a glove... On  Clint, Natasha, and Bruce. 

Thor's suit was too tight, the god of thunder pulling at the armpits of the suit, his face scrunched up in discomfort. 

Loki's wasn't too tight however, it was too short. The fish-bowl-like helmet hung two inches from its connection point on the suit, resting on the trickster's head as he wrestled to snap the helmet onto the suit. 

Steve's was actually missing the bottom half of the suit. 

-BREAK-

Fury was once more reminded as to why he liked magic so much. Loki had easily replicated the bottom half of Clint's suit, making one for Steve. 

Meanwhile, he had also adjusted his and Thor's suits to fit their height and size. 

-BREAK-

Loki frowned as the airlock hissed shut behind the; the room wasn't anything he had imagined. 

Unlike the small dank cell Thanos had tossed him into, the quarantine room was spacious and cozy. 

There were three bunk beds and one cot lining the back walls of the room. On the left side towards the front were several leather couches with an eighteen inch TV fastened to the wall. 

On the right side of the room was a table with seven metal chairs, and just behind the table, was a book case with games and Stark-pads occupying the metal shelves. 

In the very back on the left wall between two bunks was the door to the bathroom with a sink and mirror on one side of the door. 

Just above the lounge was a window leading to one of the observation labs, where scientists were already gathered. Some clustered around computer screens while others werwere reading charts on clipboards. 

"You kinda feel like a fish in here." Tony mumbled, prying the suit off and tossing it back into the airlock. 

"Indeed." Loki mumbled dryly, his tongue barely working as he tried to keep a lid on his panic. 

Soon all the suits had been tossed carelessly into the airlock, and the door to the quarantine room hissed shut. 

Moments later, decontamination jets began hosing down the hazard suits. 

"Well...  Home sweet home, at least for the next three days." Clint groaned, stalking stiffly over to the bunk beds. 

Everyone had been hosed down with decontamination hoses, but the radiation hadn't passed through their systems yet, neither had the microbes and other nasty little bugs. 

"I claim the cot." Bruce shouted as Clint approached it. 

"Dude, it doesn't work that way! I was already here. " Clint snapped, plopping down on it with a dull thud and untying his boots. 

"Alright, but don't blame me if the Hulk decides to visit because someone is kicking the bottom of the bed or snoring above or below me." Bruce sighed innocently. 

Mulling over the thinly veiled threat, Clint finally Chuckled nervously, standing up and muttering, "All yours , Pal."

"Thankyou, " replied a very smug Doctor Banner.

 

**TBC**


	2. Momentary Lack of Sanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day one, and we've just begun.

**Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.**

"Will you  _please_  stop that infernal noise?" Loki groaned from the top bunk, rolling over and yanking the lumpy white pillow over his mop of raven hair, a desperate attempt to drown out the noise of Clint's accursed tennis ball.  

It was well after lights out and everyone was missing sleep because of Barton. 

Those who didn't want to pummel him, were planning his demise. 

The ball stopped hitting the metal bottom of the top bunk for a moment as the archer furrowed his brow and pretended to actually think about it. 

Loki could only imagine the smug grin twitching across the archer's bruised lips as he simply responded- "Nope."

**Thud. Thud. Thud.**

Loki grit his teeth in anger. 

**Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Hiss. Pop!**

****Loki grinned in satisfaction as he magically forced the tennis ball to expand and pop in Clint's hand, resulting in a yelp from the startled archer.

"Really, Loki? Was that really necessary?" Clint asked curtly, crossing his arms and pouting like a toddler. Natasha wondered (not for the first time) whether clint and a toddler had actually gotten their minds swapped at some point. 

Maybe later she'd ask Loki to check. 

" _Yes,_ " Steve snapped from the top bunk of the next bed. "It was."

"Thanks, Loki." Natasha added, a rare expression of gratitude fleeing the assassin's mouth before she could halt it. 

"You know, friend Barton, some of us do value sleep. Perhaps you should join us in studying the back of our eye lids, as Tony often says." Thor added. 

"Way to go, Thor." Tony yawned; the Thunderer rarely used those expressions right. 

This was one of the major differences between the two alien brothers.  Loki had many times over displayed and amazing ability to adapt to his abilities, but Thor did not. 

 On Midgard came to understand technology rather quickly, whilst Thor to this day still couldn't work the microwave without blowing it up in a haze of lightning and fire. 

How many had Tony replaced this month?  Oh yeah. 

Seven

Holding the remains of the tennis ball in his hand, Clint glared at the bottom of the bunk. 

 It was Bruce who broke the silence next. "Stop." he snapped from his cot, making his teammates freeze in trepidation. 

"What?" Clint asked warily, rolling over on the flimsy excuse for a mattress. 

"I can hear you glaring." Banner replied coldly. "Now everyone, lights out was twenty minutes ago. Go. to. bed."

No one dared argue with the rage monster that was Bruce Banner. 

-BREAK-

That morning, food was provided through the airlock. Seven tin foil packets with dehydrated apple slices, stale crackers, and dried pork that rivaled beef jerky in the toughness department. 

Natasha thought eating the pork was like chewing on leather. She kneeded it between her teeth before finally fraying the meaty tendrils and yanking a chunk into her mouth. 

Nevermind actually chewing it. 

Meanwhile, Loki jabbed at the meal with his fork, sticking his tongue out as he considered actually injesting it. 

Their seventy-two hours officially began at six a.m. that morning, and everyone was already wanting to leave . 

No surprise, they all hated being confined. 

"I can't believe some people actually eat this." Loki finally stated, pushing the revolting food away in disgust as he wrinkled his nose. 

"If this kinda food is good enough for the military, it's good enough for me." Steve stated, his patriotic side blossoming to life once more, revived by a good night's rest. 

Loki couldn't really argue with that, but still opted to rehydrate his apple slices and magically tenderize the meat a bit. 

Tony was banging his head on the metal table. 

"I. Need. Coffee. I NEEEED coffee." Tony groaned, sounding rather a lot like a zombie. 

Of course, there was no coffee provided with the measly meal. 

-BREAK-

"Do you have an...  Eight?" Clint asked Loki, peering over the cards splayed out in his right hand. 

"Go fish." Loki replied cooly, using a splendid poker face to sell the statement; however,  "Hey, wait a minute. I gave you my eight two turns ago." Cap responded quickly. "And you never put them down as a match. Hand 'em over."

Loki let out a sigh, taking three cards from his hand, slapping the down,  and sliding them across the plastic table to Clint. 

The archer eyed him for a moment before shrieking,  "Cheater!" 

After a moment of thought, "Okay, you know what? I have the perfect solution. I'm not playing anyway, so I'll be back." Tony announced, fixing his black shirt as rose from the sturdy silver chair. 

Everyone ignored Tony, the game continuing as normal unti Loki felt a slight tug on his hair and heard the sound that would haunt him the rest of his days. 

 **Snip**. 

.... 

" _ **Stark**_!"

-BREAK-

"Dare I even ask? " Fury questioned, looking from Tony who was bound to a chair with bedsheets, to Loki who was missing most of the hair on the right side of his head. 

"Nay, I do not believe it would be wise." Thor responded, glancing with amusement at his sulking brother. 

"Okay, I'm going to ask." Fury grumbled flatly. He honestly didn't want to know, but as head of the Avengers and ultimately responsible for them,  he needed to. 

"It's actually pretty self-explanitory. But in short Tony cut Loki's hair. Loki got mad, chased Tony around, and then tied him to a chair. Loki's plotting revenge and the rest of us are waiting to see what he does. " Clint snortesld as he wiped a tear drop working its way down his flushed cheek, promptly before he completely lost it, doubling over at the waist and cackling like a witch. 

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Fury mused that sometimes he felt like he was babysitting children. 

After he rolled his eye, Fury also mulled over the fact that they'd hardly been in there for nine hours. 

The director Was shaken from his thoughts as soon he watched Loki move to rummage through one of the footlockers stationed at the end of Banner's cot, a frankly terrifying,  yet evil, smile lighting up his pale face. 

Loki had found the tool he needed for his ultimate revenge. 

Fury should have known that locking all the Avengers in the same room was like throwing explosives into an active volcano, but, they only had one observation room.

"Murph! " Tony shouted at Fury through a sock that had been jammed into his mouth, not yet realizing what Loki had taken from the neon blue footlocker. 

Fury gave him a hard look, making Tony realize he'd get no sympathy from the director. 

After his watch buzzed, announcing an emergency, Fury glanced back at the Avengers. "I'll leave you all to it. Just do me a favor and don't kill each other. I have enough paper work as it is." And with that, Fury walked away from the rectangular observation window.

 

"Hmph? Mrphmrph!" Tony eyed the razor Loki was clutching, face morphing into one of pure horror. 

"Mm mm!"Tony was tied to the chair, thus when he tried to hop away, he took the chair with him, dragging it across the metal floor as he tried to desperately escape the oncoming trickster. 

Loki continued to advance slowly, raising the razor tauntingly, meanwhile savoring the moment. 

 

Though, Bruce, Steve, and Natasha were pretending not to notice, they were secretly Watching outnod the corner of their eyes. Even Steve who was doodling-as always, had a slight grin tugging at his lips, suggesting that he was indeed paying attention to Tony's plight. 

" Tony scooted backwards again, and the chair capsized, sending Tony face-first to the floor. 

"Ow." He muttered, realizing that the gag had been nocked loose. 

"Loki! Stay away! Wait uh-uh... Guys, come on, help me out here." 

Taking pity, Clint walked over to Tony and gripped the back of the metal chair-turned-torture machine . 

"Thank you! At least someone cares!" Snorted the billionaire, only to eat his own words seconds later as Clint heaved the chair upwards with a grunt and backed away, taking out his custom Stark-phone from his back pocket. 

"All yours." He gestured, as he began recording. 

"Aw come on!" Tony shouted.

**BUZZ**

"No-no-no! Wait!  IIIIEEE!!! "

-BREAK-

Tony was sitting on the floor rocking back and forth on his heels, fingers clutching the brown locks that had been meticulously shaved from his now bald scalp. 

"I think you broke him." Clint dryly retorted from one of the chairs where he was eating lunch. 

"He's been through worse." Natasha huffed, reapplying her dark black eyeliner in the mirror. 

Loki was standing over the sink, almost done with the horrendous process of evening out his hair with a pair of scissors. 

It was now embarrassingly short and shaggy, cropped near to his scalp and only two or three inches long. 

He let out a sigh and gripped the sink. 

His revenge was awesome; that he wouldn't deny. However, he still grieved over the loss of his hair, one of his primary sources of pride. 

Magicking away the black locks of hair littering the silver sink, Loki straitened and brushed any remaining hair from his green tee shirt before walking back into the main room.

-BREAK-

"I'm gonna get that waskally Wabbit!" 

"If I see another episode of Bugs Rabbit, I believe I'm going to pull whatever's left of my hair out! Turn it off, Thor!" Loki growled angrily. 

"Come on, big tough sorcerer can't stand a little humor?" Clint asked, propping his feet up on the back of the couch behind Bruce. 

"This hardly constitutes as humor! It is stupidly predictable and somewhat retarded." Responded the god of Mischief, who was practically radiating irritation. 

"I have to agree with Loki on that one." Stated a dis-interested Natasha. She was sitting on her bunk, feet dangling as she polished one of her stingers. Gnawing on her lip, she inserted her finger into one of the barrels and tried to dislodge a jammed bullet. 

"You two are no fun! Bugs Bunny is a classic!" Banner laughed, crossing his arms and watching with a childish delight. 

"Steve, what do you think?"

Steve was fast asleep. That's what he thought about it. 

-BREAK-

"Hey, woah, woah, woah, hold it!  That is not a word!"

"It is too." 

"Tony, it is  _not_  a word."

"Yes it is, Clint. I use it all the time."

"You use  _gigabit_  all the time? Really?" There was the sarcasm. 

"Hey, Jarv, is gigabit a word?"

"Indeed it is, Sir."

"Drat."

-BREAK-

"Hurry up! We all want to shower!" Clint snarled, banging on the door with his fist, a striped towel slung over his shoulder. 

"Natasha is a girl. Girls take a long time in the bathroom. That is a fact of life." Steve announced, one finger in the air, sounding as if he were actually quoting a book. 

"Natasha isn't in there. It's Thor." Loki corrected from his bunk, lazily tossing a magical ball of energy at the ceiling and catching it again. 

It was a re-occuring theme; Thor, Natasha, and sometimes Loki spent well over half an hour or more in the shower. Whilst that was fine in the tower, that was not fine when there was only  _one_  bathroom. 

Sighing, Steve announced loud enough for everyone to hear, "Okay, new team rule! Showers last no more than ten minutes!" 

"I get fifteen." The only female on the team declared gruffly. 

No one dared argue with Natasha.

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I wanted to get chapter two up. Some might say it's too early, but I'm going to say otherwise. 
> 
> Tips and suggestions are welcome, and as always, please review. 
> 
> (Also, never... EVER... stick your finger down the barrel of any gun or such device, nor should you look down the barrel. It is dangerous.)

**Author's Note:**

> Well ladies and gentlemen, chapter one!  
> As always, constructive critism is welcome  
> (And reviews of any sort :)  
> Let me know what you guys think, and I'll see you soon with chapter 2!


End file.
